Queen and Latifa

Well, I certainly didn't deserve the abuse that I just got!

There I was sat merrily playing World of Warcraft, minding my own business. The Diva Kitty come up, growled, hit me on the ankle, and then bounded off!

I had done nothing to deserve such abuse!

Mean kitty!

And since when does she growl?! I've had said Diva Kitty for 6 months now, and this is the first time she has ever growled at me!

To be fair, I wasn't even aware that kitties could growl.

I might go and have a little cry...

M x

'Tifa is a clever girl, particularly when it comes to attempting to get what she wants.

I keep cat treats in two places in the flat: behind the Doctor Who DVDs in the front room and underneath the 'guest' pillow in my bedroom. 'Tifa gets treats quite regularly because I am a giddy queen who spoils her. As such, she has worked out that when I reach under the pillow or behind the DVDs, she's getting something yummy. She gets all excited, meows lots, and bounds around: it's incredibly cute. She loves to nom the treats out of my hand too.

Thing is, now she knows where the treat locations are, she also wants to raid them. I find her pawing underneath the pillow in an attempt to get the treats from underneath and mooning by the Doctor Who DVDs. This isn't really a problem... Or it wasn't until kitty digging at the pillow woke me up. The other day, she was so adamant that I had to remove her from the bedroom. Unfortunately, in my sleepy haze, I didn't notice that she'd dug her claws into the pillowcase and it came with her when I picked her up. The pillow then knocked over a full glass of orange juice that I had left on my bedside table, and it went all over my wallet, watch, mobile phone, and a pile of books. At rubbish o'clock in the morning, it took an inordinate amount of time to clear that mess up. 'Tifa wasn't my princess at that particular moment, I can tell you...

Of course, the morning after, all was forgiven as she is my beautiful princess, and she got treats...

M x

'Tifa and I have had a disagreement.

I thought that the computer chair was mine, but clearly, it's her's. She has been meowing and hitting me and jumping on the keyboard and sitting right in front of the screen and generally being a nuisance. A cute and pretty nuisance, but still a nuisance.

So she's got the chair, and I've wheeled her away from the PC.

I'd write more about this constant conflict of who should be allowed to sit on the computer chair, but it really is quite ridiculous to be updating my blog standing up...

I'm going to bed to read my book: I give up on the tinterwebs for the night.

Diva kitty!

M x 

No, I don't speak Portuguese - it's the title of an episode of The X-Files.

When I adopted 'Tifa, I was told a little of her back story. She was an old lady's cat and never left the house, but the old lady sadly passed away. The old lady's family took her in, but there was a significant problem: 'Tifa really doesn't get on with other cats, and she started duffing up their cat. The family made the difficult decision to take her to the RSPCA as a rescue cat because, obviously, the cat fights couldn't continue.

So when I adopted 'Tifa, I was strongly advised by the RSPCA that I shouldn't adopt another cat because it was highly likely that she would attack them. This was something that I thought would never be a problem: I only wanted one cat and she was to live exclusively in my flat and as such would never encounter another cat again. Of course, things are never as simple as one expects them to be with the diva kitty.

I'm working my way through The X-Files from the first episode of season 1 to the last episode of season 10, and am currently on season 3. Episode 18 of season 3 is called Teso Dos Bichos, and it isn't a particularly popular episode with fans I have have subsequently discovered (I can see why - it is a bit pants to be honest), but I'm a completist and fully intend to watch the whole series from start to finish. The episode has lots of cats in it. Lots of howling, hissing, hostile cats in it. Oh dear.

'Tifa went absolutely berserk! I've never seen her so angry and crazy (even during grooming glove moments). It was actually a little scary: you can sometimes forget the feral nature of your puss because they trust you and treat you like a friend. She was really going for it, and was sat there yowling and hissing at the telly, and bounding around like a proper wildcat. I ended up having to pause the programme and ensure that she was locked out of the room before I finished watching it (on very low volume, I might add!).

Poor kitty: you don't generally think that you'll upset your kitty just by putting on a DVD!

M x

For a girl so divalicious, 'Tifa can be as common as muck...

When my friend Philip was round my place recently, 'Tifa was doing her usual friendly thing of coming into the room where we were and meowing at us until she got attention and cuddles. She suddenly rushed off with no warning. We speculated that she was off for a call of nature. A minute or so later, she returned and proceeded to use her front paws to propel herself across from one side of the rug to the other on her bum with her back legs in the air. She then proceeded to lick the same area.

Upon checking, she had indeed paid the litter a visit. So she was blatantly wiping her backside right in front of Philip and me.

Classy.

M x

My friend Philip came my place the other day, and we ended up drinking a little too much booze for him to safely drive home. As such he crashed at mine.

So I went to bed as normal, and Philip was on the sofabed in the front room.

Now, 'Tifa will always sleep either on the computer chair in my bedroom or will actually join me and sleep on my feet (quite why she chooses what is quite probably the most minging part of my body is beyond me, but hey). I like this: it makes me happy to know that she wants to sleep in the same place as me and is actually quite fond of me despite her contrary divaness.

But when Philip stayed over, she slept with him on the sofa.

Mean, floozy kitty!

M x

As I'm sure you've realised, I fuss over my cat, and it's recommended that you groom even short haired cats once a week. Like a good owner, I intended to always do this. However, the diva kitty has other plans.

So I bought a brush. I attempted to brush her, but she was having none of it and wriggled and writhed so that it became impossible to get any actual fur off her. She quite clearly didn't like the brush and wasn't going to let me use it on her.

Unperturbed, my mission to look after my cat, despite her protestations, continued. I purchased one of those rubber spiked, grooming gloves as an alternative. I was hoping that she wouldn't really notice that I was grooming her as she is quite happy being stroked and fussed over normally. Surely, the gentle rubber spikes wouldn't cause the diva kitty to fuss?

The gentle rubber spikes caused the diva kitty to fuss.

Good grief! She REALLY doesn't like the grooming glove. She never hisses normally, but she hissed at me like I was chasing her with a water pistol or something (not that I ever would, mind!)! She really, really doesn't like the grooming glove. She repeatedly smacked me particularly hard with her claws very much out (thankfully only on the protected, gloved hand - otherwise she would have surely taken significant chunks out of me!).

Either unfortunately or fortunately (depending on your perspective), the grooming glove is particularly effective on removal of moulting fur. As such since then, once a week, I find myself chasing an angry, hateful, hissing cat around the flat with the glove, incurring her wrath. She loathes it so much that she ignores me, indeed shuns me, after any session with the glove for literally hours.

I've never seen 'Tifa quite as angry and hateful as she is when I'm doing the grooming glove thing: she's regularly distainful and selfish, but never angry and hateful. It's actually quite upsetting to see as I don't want to upset my Princess, even if it is a necessary evil. Poor kitty; poor me.

I know my cat well enough to know that she won't get used to it, she won't accept it, and won't forgive me easily every time I do it. Cat treat bribery does work, but not as well as I'd like.

Bloomin' kitty - I wish I could explain to her that it's for her own good!

M x

Another incident with cat litter!

I recently changed the cat litter I use for 'Tifa. I decided that I would like to get something a bit classier that Sainsbury's Basics litter, and went to a local pet shop to get some better quality stuff. So I got a huge 30 litre bag of posh litter that has extra absorbancy, odour control, and various other whistles and bobbles.

So I started using the new litter, and, oh dear, we have encountered a problem. Unfortunately, I didn't read the small print on the packaging:

NOTE: This cat litter may leave a pink hue on white cats' paws. This is harmless and can be removed by cleaning.

So the diva kitty now has pink paws.

It may well be harmless, but I am NOT going to attempt to clean the diva kitty's paws. I value my life.

Pink bloomin' paws: could she be any more camp?! You couldn't make up that kind of thing.

What is it about 'Tifa and me and the cat litter?!

M x

Predictably, as it's the diva kitty, it was a failed experiment.

Obviously, as 'Tifa is a flat cat, she never poos outside. This means that all her poos are done in the litter tray. After taking a week or so to settle in (which I was warned about and expected) with some 'presents' left on the sofa or the carpet, she settled in and used the cat litter all the time. However, she would leave a present for me on the sofa again if I forgot to clear her littler tray once a day. Which, I guess, is fair enough, as I wouldn't really like to poo in a loo that already had poo in it...

Anyway, I'm a bit prissy. As such, I really didn't like the litter tray being all exposed, and being a bit pongy. So I decided to implement a cat litter tray with a lid and a flap. Essentially, it looked like a cat carrier and was supposed to reduce smells and you don't have to look at poo all the time.

Unfortunately, 'Tifa is a fussy girl. As such, I thought that perhaps I could do it in stages: new litter tray one week, add the lid the next week, and then finally add the flap. This way, surely even the diva kitty would accept these changes?

Week one - new tray: success.

Week two - add lid to tray: success.

Week three - add flap to tray and lid: oh dear.

I returned home the day that I added the flap, and there was a problem. Two problems in fact: a poo on the sofa and a poo on my bed. That was me told. Ew.

The flap was quickly removed.

That was three weeks ago, and I haven't attempted to put it back since, and she's not left me any presents since. 

I doubt I ever will have another go with that bloomin' flap.

Did I mention? Ew.

M x

When I got 'Tifa, I wanted her to be happy. As such, I bought a load of toys for her.

I presented her with a ping pong ball: utter indifference.

I presented her with a plastic cage with a bell inside: utter indifference.

I presented her with feathery dangley thing: utter indifference.

I presented her with a brightly coloured cuddley mouse: minor interest, then utter indifference.

So I thought, 'fair enough, puss don't like toys and isn't a particularly playful kitty. That's fine, she's pretty and likes being stroked. As such, I stopped giving her things.

A few days later, I was working with some string, and 'Tifa enthusiastically bounded over and started to gleefully and enthusiastically attack the dangling string. I was elated! So I dangled the string in front of her, and she was loving it! Hooray! She spent a good 20 minutes being adorably cute chasing, attacking, and pouncing upon said string. So I'd cracked it! Purely by accident.

Just goes to show that you don't need to spend money on stuff to keep a kitty entertained.  In a similar vein to kids who love the cardboard box that the expensive present was is, my kitty is much more interested in a dangled piece of mundane string than any manufactured cat toy! Good for her! I loved cardboard boxes when I was a kid!

M x