Queen and Latifa

There's an old cliché that pets start to resemble their owners...

I am blessed with a metabolism that means that whatever I eat, I don't get fat. I can be incredibly unfit (and I currently am, unfortunately), but I never get a tum or weigh much more than 11 stone. I've been warned that it'll catch up with me, and I'm sure it will, but 31 years and counting, it hasn't yet. If I did put on weight, my opinion would probably be different to what I'm about to express, but I don't see the point of a culinary indulgence if you're going to debase it! As such, I always have full fat cheeses/ spreads, fizzy drinks, chocolate products, etc. As far as I'm concerned, it's not an indulgence if you actually think about the bad stuff: that ruins the pleasure one gains from the indulgence.

The reason for the title of this blog is that I often say something that borders on a catchphrase when challenged about my fizzy drink choices: "I don't do diet." This is in reference to the fact that I'd rather have a glass of water over a glass of Diet Coke. If I'm going to have Coca-Cola, I want Coca-Cola, not wishy washy, flavourless, gassy Diet.

Turns out that the diva kitty has a very similar attitude. She loves cow milk, and if I ever leave a glass of milk unattended, she's there like a shot lapping it up. But as we know, cow milk is bad for kitty cats and she really shouldn't be drinking it, but special cat milk is okay. As such, being the doting queen that I am, I generally have a stock of cat milk in to give to my princess. The thing is, if I put down a bowl of cat milk, she treats it with disdain! She'll play at it and, more often than not, will eventually drink it over a day, but she has nothing resembling the gusto for cat milk that she does for cow milk.

So there you go, like her queeny owner/ housekeeper, the diva don't do diet!

M x

A week ago, I mentioned that I was contemplating getting rid of 'Tifa's basket in favour of an exercise bike. Well, this is a follow up to that particularly life changing entry to this blog.

I couldn't quite bring myself to do it: it was 'Tifa's basket, however indifferent she had been to it. She's my princess and I dote upon her, and I couldn't quite bring myself to remove her basket. Surely all cats need a basket? I did, however, decide that the exercise bike definitely needed to be in the front room to coerce me into doing some form of exercise ever: it was my motivational tool to get myself out of the rut that is me being the least fit that I have been in my entire life. So I had a reshuffle, and managed to just about fit the various items I have in the front room allowing for the addition of the exercise bike without the removal of the basket. It's a bit cluttered and somewhat garish, but then, I've always been told that my flat is 'very me', so I guess it's just a little bit more like me than ever.

I was cynical as to her ever using the basket. Then suddenly, for seeminly no reason, she was constantly sat in it! I was stunned. She suddenly loves that basket, and has officially added it to her favourite places within my (her) home: end of bed, computer chair, Mark's lap, left hand side of the sofa, behind the telly, and now, basket. Madness!

Then I realised. The new basket location is next to the radiator. And it happened to be moved there on the same day as I switched the heating on. Diva kitty likes the snuggley warmth! What's the betting she becomes indifferent to the basket again next summer?

Oh, and I still haven't had a go on the exercise bike...

M x

'Tifa has recently developed a particularly bad habit - naughty diva!

As I've mentioned previously, once I've gone to bed and am asleep, she likes to snuggle up to me and go to sleep herself. Almost without fail, I wake up the following morning with a kitty in my lap. However, sometimes I might not sleep in my own bed for whatever reason, and 'Tifa has made it quite clear that she does not appreciate it. The last few times that I've come home the morning after staying over somewhere else, she has meowed hostiley and given me a bop on the ankle. I feel a little like Andy Capp being admonished by Flo! It's almost like she's saying "And where have you been?!"

Mean, yet cute and amusingly divaish: pretty much parr for the course with my Princess, then?

Have fun,

M x 

It's not quite the epic battle that was the cinematic event of Mega Shark V Giant Octopus (magnificently schlocky and hilariously bad pure entertainment by the way), but there is a battle going on in the Q&L household!

The diva kitty does not use her basket. Seriously, even after a liberal spraying of catnip, she's not even remotely interested in the basket. She likes to sleep on the sofa or on me when I'm asleep in bed. She likes to sit behind the telly or on the computer chair. No basket interest whatsoever.

But surely every cat needs a basket?

So here's the thing: I horde. I have lots of stuff and refuse to throw stuff away. Despite the generous proportions of my 60s council flat in comparison to the majority of modern flats, and due to my incredible amounts of stuff, space is at a premium in chez Q&L. My bedroom is horribly cluttered, and one of the main culprits of clutterage is the exercise bike that I don't use because it's under a pile of things that I haven't been bothered to put on ebay (that and I'm incredibly lazy). It would make a significant differance if I were to move the exercise bike out of the bedroom, and I might even used the blooming thing if it guilts me every time I go into my living room.

But is it mean to replace the cat's basket with an exercise bike? Am I a bad person for even contemplating this?

M x

I'm never really without inspiration for ideas for this blog, but sometimes cute or funny things that the diva kitty does don't seemingly warrant a blog to themselves. I'm sad enough to keep a notebook of ideas for blogs next to my computer, and going through the list, there's a number of ideas that, whilst they might not perhaps warrant a whole blog to themselves, they're worth mentioning in a compilation.

When 'Tifa sees that I have cat treats for her, she runs around in circles excitedly and meows. I hold back sometimes just to watch her. I wonder if she notices the huge grin she evokes from me every time she does this.

Whatever the food is, if I'm eating it, 'Tifa wants some. She normally behaves though because she's worked out that if I tell her no and she lets me finish, she'll get some eventually. This does not apply if she can smell that it's fish - she goes nuts, and has to be removed from the room.

Anything that even vaguely dangles: the diva kitty wants to play with it!

'Tifa hates me reading books and magazines in bed and gets terribly jealous. I presume she likes to be able to see my face, and my reading material hides it. As such, she becomes particularly contrary repeatedly headbutting the offending book/ mag making it completely impossible to read.

The diva kitty likes Cheddar and Edam, but doesn't like Stilton or Blackstick Blue.

The diva kitty dislikes it when I'm pottering about the flat doing various things. She likes to be able to observe me, and as such prefers me to stay put somewhere for long periods of time. As such, she follows me if I'm pottering and meows her displeasure at me causing her such inconvenience.

Just some random thoughts here - I will probably post similar blogs periodically...

M x 

Sorry about the recent hiatus on this blog!

As I mentioned in a recent(ish) entry, I've been on holiday for the last week having been at Manchester Pride all the bank holiday, and then straight onto London for the following week. I had lots and lots of fun, but as I feared in the aforementioned previous blog, I did worry terribly about my princess while I was in London. Thankfully, Ryoko and Phil (my mates that were looking after her) reassured me throughout the week via phone calls, and she was fine when I got home.

Oh, how I pampered her when I got home! She got cuddles and treats and fuss and cat milk and more cuddles and cat toy action and kisses and more treats!

One thing that I thought I'd share with you that happened while I was packing my case last week was this:

Don't leave me!

While I was packing, the diva kitty jumping into my case did nothing to ease my guilt about abandoning her for a week! She looked at me with her big green kitty eyes and I felt like such a meanie! Mind you, I still went, so I'm not quite as under the thumb as some people might suggest!

M x

Oh dear!

I am tired and I really want to go to bed, but I can't currently move from my computer chair. 'Tifa is sat in my lap, and she is settled and content, and I'll feel so mean if I move: it'll upset her! I hate upsetting my girl!

I've done everything that I wanted to do on World of Warcraft tonight and done Facebook to death. I daren't go on youtube or else I'll definitely still be on my computer for another hour plus. Did you know there is a facebook group called 'cat on lap syndrome' to raise awareness about my current condition? Well you do now. I should probably join it. I just did. That facebook group has 44 members. At least I know I'm not alone.

Oh no! She just fell asleep! Things have gone from bad to worse! I may well be here for quite a while! Youtube here I come...

M x

As people will probably know, I spoil 'Tifa. She gets her favourite food regularly, treats every day, toys, mucho love and cuddles, and I play with her every day. This is because I enjoy doting upon her, and she deserves it as she's beautiful and makes me happy.

So for the first couple of months, I gave her milk daily as a treat. I was advised by friends, colleagues, websites, etc that cow milk is bad for kitties and does their insides a mischief. But 'Tifa really liked it, and yummed it up every day. I was in a quandary. So I decided to buy some cat milk for her instead (which is more expensive, but doesn't rot the kitty's insides like cow milk apparently does).

'Tifa being 'Tifa, she doesn't make things easy for me. When first presented with the cat milk, she looked at it, looked at me, meowed her contempt, and strutted off.

Such a diva!

She now drinks it (how cute are cats when they lap?!), but I can't help thinking that she'd still prefer the cow milk as her recent milk pilfering can attest.

M x

I'm posting another vid because people have said to me how much they enjoyed the last one.

A few weeks after adopting her (and before I realised that the only cat toy she was interested in was the interactive fishing rod thing), I was sat in my front room with 'Tifa. I wanted to play and thought that she might like to chase a ping pong ball. 'Tifa had other ideas.

I like this video: it's pretty indicative of our relationship as a whole...

M x

No, I don't speak Portuguese - it's the title of an episode of The X-Files.

When I adopted 'Tifa, I was told a little of her back story. She was an old lady's cat and never left the house, but the old lady sadly passed away. The old lady's family took her in, but there was a significant problem: 'Tifa really doesn't get on with other cats, and she started duffing up their cat. The family made the difficult decision to take her to the RSPCA as a rescue cat because, obviously, the cat fights couldn't continue.

So when I adopted 'Tifa, I was strongly advised by the RSPCA that I shouldn't adopt another cat because it was highly likely that she would attack them. This was something that I thought would never be a problem: I only wanted one cat and she was to live exclusively in my flat and as such would never encounter another cat again. Of course, things are never as simple as one expects them to be with the diva kitty.

I'm working my way through The X-Files from the first episode of season 1 to the last episode of season 10, and am currently on season 3. Episode 18 of season 3 is called Teso Dos Bichos, and it isn't a particularly popular episode with fans I have have subsequently discovered (I can see why - it is a bit pants to be honest), but I'm a completist and fully intend to watch the whole series from start to finish. The episode has lots of cats in it. Lots of howling, hissing, hostile cats in it. Oh dear.

'Tifa went absolutely berserk! I've never seen her so angry and crazy (even during grooming glove moments). It was actually a little scary: you can sometimes forget the feral nature of your puss because they trust you and treat you like a friend. She was really going for it, and was sat there yowling and hissing at the telly, and bounding around like a proper wildcat. I ended up having to pause the programme and ensure that she was locked out of the room before I finished watching it (on very low volume, I might add!).

Poor kitty: you don't generally think that you'll upset your kitty just by putting on a DVD!

M x