Queen and Latifa


Still Got It!

Posted on March 25, 2011 at 12:58 PM Comments comments (0)

Last weekend, my friend Philip came round my place for a gossip and to drink too much wine. Philip is a friend that I have had for a very long time now and an absolute treasure; he is also unashamedly the campest man in the world. Every time I spend time with Phil, he comes out with a string of gems that make me howl with laughter. So much so, in fact, that I have always joked that I would write a sitcom about him one day.


One of Phil’s gems last weekend was:

“’Tifa is the same age as my cat Jess. Except ‘Tifa’s still got her figure, and Jess is a fat old cow these days!”


Two things:

I love how we both talk about our cats like they’re people – it reassures me that I’m not insane (inane?).

And is it wrong to be supremely proud of ‘Tifa’s good looks considering her age? I don’t think I care even if it is!


M x

She Really Likes Me!

Posted on March 24, 2011 at 7:19 PM Comments comments (0)

My aforementioned houseguest Andy left today, and I was actually really quite sad was about it. Considering what an isolationist I can often be and that I have lived on my own for the best part of a decade (except for an ill-advised 6 months with an ex-boyfriend that was sort of imposed upon me rather than by choice – long story!), this actually surprised me. However, Andy’s month(ish) long stay has made me discover something about my princess that I didn’t know up until now.


The diva kitty, however much she might actually try to hide it with her diva antics and façade of indifference, actually enjoys, nay craves, human company!


Here’s the evidence:

Every workday, I leave her alone in the flat for somewhere between 7 and 9 hours. When I get back, I am greeted with much meowing and purring and cat headbutts and fuss. I’d always assumed that it was merely begging for treats rather than actually wanting my company, but I was wrong.

With Andy in the flat all day, she no longer immediately greeted me upon my arrival home despite the fact that he didn’t give her treats at any point during the day! However, she would spend large amounts of the day sat with/ on him.


I rest my case!


‘Tifa, you’ve been rumbled!


M x

Mundane Things That 'Tifa Does That Delight Me

Posted on December 2, 2010 at 8:50 PM Comments comments (0)

One thing that I did manage to do over November whilst writing my novel (and I do use the term 'novel' rather than 'mess' with a certain amount of irony) was update the Q&L Twitter. I like Twitter because it allows me to feel like I’m still doing Q&L justice by at least writing regularly on the microblog when I haven’t got time to write on the actual blog: it’s a poor substitute, I’ll grant you, but it’s better than nothing, right?


Over the course of November, I did a series of tweets that I entitled ‘Mundane Things That ‘Tifa Does That Delight Mark’. It’s true that ‘Tifa really doesn’t have to do very much to make me full of glee, and I enjoyed coming up with the list as a mini-break from my novel writings. Seeing as not all my readers follow me on Twitter, I thought that I might reproduce the list (posted roughly at a rate of one every other day during November) for those people here.


  1. Squints when the sun gets in her eyes.
  2. Does big yawns after waking up from a sleep.
  3. Laps milk noisily (and yes, it's the special cat milk).
  4. Curiousness around any new items in the flat.
  5. If you leave a cupboard or wardrobe door open, she will rub her face on it.
  6. Meows loudly to announce her presence as she enters a room.
  7. Purrs when cuddled.
  8. Sits in my lap while I watch the telly.
  9. Sits in her predictable, favourite places around the flat.
  10. Follows me around the flat when she thinks there's a chance of me giving her treats.
  11. Cocks her head to acknowledge me when I enters a room where she is sitting.
  12. Gets very, very excited when it's feeding time.
  13. Goes crazy for anything that dangles even slightly.
  14. Sprawls in front of the electric heater.


Love that cat: even reproducing this silly list has made me all warm and happy inside!


Have fun,


M x

7 Truths And A Lie

Posted on August 7, 2010 at 10:53 PM Comments comments (2)

Just a quick one tonight. I mentioned a while back that sometimes the diva kitty does cute or funny things that don't warrant a blog to themselves, but are worth mentioning in a complilation. This is another one of those blogs. However, I've decided to do it in a different format to previous, and publish 8 statements - 7 of them are true; one is a lie! I wonder if my readers can spot the lie!


  1. Whenever I get something new, no matter what it is, 'Tifa has to headbutt it. A barbeque, a DVD, a chair, a bag, a boyfriend: they all get headbutted. I realise that it's a territory marking thing and there's pheremones in a cat's face, but it's still cute that she indescriminatingly headbutts absolutely everything.
  2. If you wave at 'Tifa from afar, almost without exception, she'll meow at you.
  3. 'Tifa prefers to settle down for a sit on a person's thigh rather than their lap.
  4. 'Tifa will follow you all around the flat (and even onto the balcony which she is normally a bit scared of) if you're rattling a box of cat treats.
  5. 'Tifa once saved my life.
  6. 'Tifa doesn't appreciate it when you catch her paw when she's attempted to hit you. This is the only time that she'll ever bite you is if you do this.
  7. 'Tifa doesn't like tummy tickles despite the fact that she regularly looks like she's hankering for a tummy tickle! If you tickle her tummy when she does this she will gently (but firmly!) push away your hand with her back paw.
  8. 'Tifa is totally indifferent to the front door being opened. In the entire time that she's lived with me, she has shown no interest whatsoever in venturing out of it, even when it's been left open for a significant amount of time.


7 truths; 1 lie - can you spot the lie?


M x 

Terrorising The Allergic

Posted on August 4, 2010 at 11:27 PM Comments comments (2)

'Tifa, bless her, likes people. If there's a group of people in my living room (as there often is: I like to invite people around my place for a social gathering), she'll leave it half an hour or so, and then with a big meow will announce her arrival to the social occassion. It's very much like when the belle of the ball was formally announced with a grand entrance in Jane Austen times.


She will then immediately make a beeline for someone with allergies. It's uncanny. If there's someone in the group who's allergic to cats, without exception, they're the first person that she heads to. Always.


And I have no idea how she manages it. Perhaps it's a coincidence, but uncountable coincidences over 18 months seems somewhat unlikely to me. So then, is it a 6th sense coupled with a mischevious streak? Or maybe it's the demeanor of the allergic that attracts her to them: perhaps she likes fear!? I really am clueless as to how she does it, but she always does! It amuses me; it amuses the allergic perhaps a little less.


Until I had 'Tifa, I had no idea about the incredible amount of people that are allergic to cats. I have friends that will no longer come round my flat because they are so furiously, cripplingly allergic to cats. I have friends who're wary because of 'Tifa's allergic person radar. And I have my boyfriend is allergic to cats, who has to pop an antihistamine every time he comes round. 'Tifa really, really likes Jamie and regularly graces him with her presence demanding fuss, rubbing herself on him, or sitting on him. Obviously, Jamie appreciates this blessing of her gracious company (and in no way just does it to humour me, I'm sure!).


Incidentally, if there's noone with allergies present, she immediately heads to a gay man. Clever girls knows where the big time fusses are to be gained as an alternative to the joy of terrorising the allergic.


My cat is awesome.  


M x

'Tifa Two

Posted on June 3, 2010 at 10:43 PM Comments comments (0)

You may remember a few months back, that I let you know that I'm taking part in a talking books scheme.


I was at a talking book event in Stockport Library last week, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was clearly the most flippant book there, but that's a good thing. Amongst stories about dealing with epilepsy, atrocities of a dictatorial regime, and the experiences of a war veteran post war, I genuinely believe that Q&L was a much needed light touch. The scheme is about diversity and I'm certainly that compared to the other participants!


As I was preparing myself for the session, reading through old entries; printing them; etc, I suddenly had a brainwave. Obviously, I can't take 'Tifa with me: not only would it be a nightmare to get her in the cat carrier, it wouldn't be fair on the poor kitty to uproot her from her territory and imagine inflicting a cat on a library?! So I decided to make a cardboard cutout of her!


After all, I've always said that 'Tifa is the star of this blog, and she should be the star of my talking blook sessions. So while I was reading extracts from this blog to the over 65s, there was a cardboard cutout of the diva on the table next to me! It amused me, even if it probably only made the audience think I'm odd!


Afterwards, back at the flat, I just couldn't resist taking this photo:




"I am NOT amused with you making facsimiles of my image!"



I laugh at this pic every time; I hope you do too.


M x


Wardrobe Kitteh

Posted on April 25, 2010 at 9:27 PM Comments comments (1)

I love it when 'Tifa surprises me:




Wardrobe Kitteh is watching you!




First thing I'd like to point out is: no, I didn't put her there. As if she'd let me put her anywhere she didn't want to be put!

She actually managed to get there utilising a particularly agile leap for such an old lady from my bed which is 3ft below and 2 ft away from the wardrobe shelf. Had I not seen her actually do it, I'd not have thought that such a feat was possible: particularly with the accuracy she manages.


The first time she did this, I didn't spot that she was there, and as such, closed the doors on her! It scared the living daylights out of me when I heard a yowl, some scratchings, and then suddenly saw a cat come flying from out of the wardrobe doors! I don't mind admitting that I screamed like a girl!


After that incident, I always make sure she's not there before closing my wardrobe!


Thing is, she has decided that it's one of her 'places' now alongside her side of the sofa, the living room windowsill, my lap when I'm sleeping, and the computer chair. So as soon as the wardrobe is open, she goes for it. It's even got to the point where she's clocked that if I've got the ironing board out, the wardrobe is going to be open. Without fail, if I'm ironing, Little Miss Meow Meow is sat chilling in the wardrobe on my jeans! And, much to my chagrin, she is an absolute horror if I try and move her once she's there: wriggly, grumpy, claw happy old diva!


My cat is certainly one of a kind!


M x

The Difference Between Me and JT

Posted on March 11, 2010 at 10:41 PM Comments comments (0)

My cat is nothing if not predictable. Having had JT in the flat for nearly three weeks now, she has started to treat him like she treats me!


  • If JT is awake before I am, she follows him meowing for food and attention.
  • If JT gets home before I do, she greets him upon arrival and meows at him in the hope of getting treats.
  • If JT is sat watching the telly, she saunters up and joins him in the hope of cuddles.
  • If JT is about and she wants entertainment/ fuss, she pesters him.


In all of these instances, the steadfast chap that he is, JT utterly ignores her. Something that I could never do! I don't know whether to admire his resolve, or tell him off and insist that he treat Little Miss Meow Meow like the Princess that she clearly is!


M x

Transparent Kitty

Posted on January 15, 2010 at 9:50 PM Comments comments (1)

Not physically, obviously...


It's cold in Manchester at the moment, and has been for for the last few weeks. As previously mentioned, Chez Q&L is in the unfortunate situation of having a rubbish combo of single glazed windows and borderline pointless electric storage heaters.


For the last few weeks, 'Tifa has been a lot more affectionate. She has wanted to sit in my lap a lot more, and instantly joins me and cuddles up when I go to bed. This is noticeabley different to her normal level of wanting both of these things.


So... Cold weather for two weeks; more affectionate cat for two weeks.

Kitty: you're fooling noone. Your false affection for me is clearly just because you want my warmness. Transparent, selfish diva!


Love that cat...


M x

Happy New Year

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 7:06 PM Comments comments (0)

Yeah, I realise it's late...


Apologies for the couple of weeks with no blog entries. I took a big break from pretty much everything other than sitting on my bum and watching indulgent telly over the generous 10 day break I had from work. I found it incredibly relaxing, but I'm back now, and ready and raring to go with more Q&L fun.


Before I get back into the swing, I took a photo of 'Tifa the other day that particularly amused me that I thought I'd share with you. Due to the Winter weather and the combo of single glazed windows and borderline pointless electric storage heaters at Chez Q&L (thank you so much, Salford Council!), it has been somewhat cold here. I have had to resort to wearing many layers and using my environmentally precarious electric heater.




"I want the warm!"



How cute is my kitty wanting a warm tum?


Have fun,


M x

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