Queen and Latifa

'Tifa has recently developed a particularly bad habit - naughty diva!

As I've mentioned previously, once I've gone to bed and am asleep, she likes to snuggle up to me and go to sleep herself. Almost without fail, I wake up the following morning with a kitty in my lap. However, sometimes I might not sleep in my own bed for whatever reason, and 'Tifa has made it quite clear that she does not appreciate it. The last few times that I've come home the morning after staying over somewhere else, she has meowed hostiley and given me a bop on the ankle. I feel a little like Andy Capp being admonished by Flo! It's almost like she's saying "And where have you been?!"

Mean, yet cute and amusingly divaish: pretty much parr for the course with my Princess, then?

Have fun,

M x 

I'm not very good at it.

I've been told that some people flick their kitty's nose when s/he does something naughty as a form of discipline so that the cat know that it was bad and associates it with badness happening to them. Thing is, I'm really not sure personally that I agree with this practice. Smacking a child does no permanent physical damage, but it's still not a nice thing to do to a defenceless person whom the parent is clearly stronger than. Is this all that different from flicking a cat's nose? It's not a nice thing to do to a defenceless animal that the owner is clearly stronger than.

'Tifa is oftentimes naughty, but rarely to the point where I might consider it needs physical behavioural treatment. However, the other day she was sat in my lap, and totally randomly leapt up, grabbed my arm with both paws, and dug her claws in scratching a couple of three inch long lacerations down my arm. With hindsight, it was probably playful and I misconstrued it as aggressive, because on inspection after the event, the cuts weren't very deep at all. However, the shock and initial pain made me quite upset, and the idea of flicking her nose came into my head.

So I hovered my hand in front of her as I contemplated whether or not I actually agree with this practice. I decided that I didn't, and was mildly ashamed at even thinking about it. However, I was punished for my bad thoughts by the diva kitty: she swiped at me and took a chunk out of my palm. And to be honest, I think I deserved it: flicking my Princess's nose is not my style, and after this incident, I sincerely doubt that even the thought of it will enter my head again.

M x

Well, I certainly didn't deserve the abuse that I just got!

There I was sat merrily playing World of Warcraft, minding my own business. The Diva Kitty come up, growled, hit me on the ankle, and then bounded off!

I had done nothing to deserve such abuse!

Mean kitty!

And since when does she growl?! I've had said Diva Kitty for 6 months now, and this is the first time she has ever growled at me!

To be fair, I wasn't even aware that kitties could growl.

I might go and have a little cry...

M x

Remember Bob?

Bob is the cat toy that 'Tifa loves to give a good kicking.

I arrived home this evening to discover this:

The Diva Kitty is clearly proud of her achievement!

Poor Bob!

In the space of two weeks, 'Tifa has managed to disembowel poor old Bob. I'd use the term 'long suffering' to describe Bob, but realistically, he has been abused so constantly over the last couple of weeks, that 'frequently' is probably more apt that 'long'. At least he's been put out his misery now, right?

Actually, no.

After I threw away the stuffing, 'Tifa still loves to give the empty 'skin' of poor Bob a kicking, and continues to abuse him! It appears that his torture is far from over.

Poor Bob!

M x

'Tifa and I have had a disagreement.

I thought that the computer chair was mine, but clearly, it's her's. She has been meowing and hitting me and jumping on the keyboard and sitting right in front of the screen and generally being a nuisance. A cute and pretty nuisance, but still a nuisance.

So she's got the chair, and I've wheeled her away from the PC.

I'd write more about this constant conflict of who should be allowed to sit on the computer chair, but it really is quite ridiculous to be updating my blog standing up...

I'm going to bed to read my book: I give up on the tinterwebs for the night.

Diva kitty!

M x 

I like to sit on World of Warcraft with my kitty sat in my lap. She obviously quite likes this too as she regularly joins me while I'm playing and curls up for half an hour or so before pottering off to do other catty things. However, sometimes she gets restless or distracted and interferes with my gaming, becoming something of a nightmare!

For those of you who're not knowledgeable about WoW, and I'll try to be brief here, there are a number of different ways to play the game, but it can be crudely split up into two categories: that which involves playing on your own and that which involves the need to team up with other players to achieve a goal - 'soloing' and 'grouping' respectively. Soloing, it is fine if the kitty decides that the computer mouse is a proper mouse that needs a good kicking or that the keyboard is a good place to have a walk around on: you just get a beating from the baddie you're fighting, tut at the kitty, and then salvage yourself and carry on. However, grouping is a whole other kettle of fish as other people are relying on you as part of a team, and it can be detrimental to achieving the kill if you're not performing at your best.

Particularly tough baddies that you need to fight with other players and use specific tactics are known as 'bosses'. You really have to concentrate on bosses and play your role within the team properly or you could cause what is known as 'a wipe': the utter destruction of you and all your friends by the boss.

When one is fighting a boss, kitty interferance can easily cause a wipe. I personally hate being responsible for a failure within a team as I almost exclusively team up with only people I know in 'real life', and don't like letting my friends down. Thing is, It's almost like 'Tifa knows the most inappropriate moment for which to be disruptive!

The toughest boss I'm going to fight that evening? Kitty tramps on the keyboard!

A boss where every second counts and one error could wipe everyone? Kitty claws my hand going for the mouse.

Fighting a boss with specific tactics? Kitty goes for the wire of my headset because it's a bit like string.

A new boss I've not faught before that I really need to concentrate on? Kitty picks an inopportune moment to climb up my chest and meow in my face.

You get the picture.

I know that cats are highly intelligent, but it's uncanny how often the diva kitty causes me grouping grief at the worst possible moment. Surely cats aren't that clever? Surely the diva kitty isn't that mean even if she is that clever? Surely not? Right?

M x

My friend Philip came my place the other day, and we ended up drinking a little too much booze for him to safely drive home. As such he crashed at mine.

So I went to bed as normal, and Philip was on the sofabed in the front room.

Now, 'Tifa will always sleep either on the computer chair in my bedroom or will actually join me and sleep on my feet (quite why she chooses what is quite probably the most minging part of my body is beyond me, but hey). I like this: it makes me happy to know that she wants to sleep in the same place as me and is actually quite fond of me despite her contrary divaness.

But when Philip stayed over, she slept with him on the sofa.

Mean, floozy kitty!

M x

It does frustrate me that I can't seem to take a photo of 'Tifa that doesn't make her look evil! If she is evil, then she's very much the diet coke of evil, but every photo I take of her, she seems to pout and glare and make herself look incredibly evil! It makes me sad because she's beautiful.

She has, however, excelled herself in appearance of evilness in one of the pictures I took of her recently:

"I DON'T LIKE photos being taken of me, Mark!"

She's not evil, I tell you! She's not! She's not! She's not!

Waaaaaaaaaaa!

M x

'Tifa, as we know, is a diva. She loves to be stroked and petted and fussed over, but when she's had enough, she doesn't just walk away. Oh no, she gives you a smack, and then scarpers.

Complete diva; complete comedy!

I am, of course, used to this, and it amuses me as it's actually kind of cute. Also, she doesn't have her claws out usually, so it's more of an ineffectual furry punch than a scratch with any evil intent. I don't really bat an eyelid at it any more! Other people, particlularly if I don't warn them(!), aren't so tempered.

Over the Easter weekend, I had my parents and my brother and his girlfriend, and a friend from London up to visit me at different points. In the space of one day, the diva kitty managed to smack my mother, my brother's girlfriend, and my friend! She excelled herself! All three were a little shocked by her, but they were all just claws in bops as opposed to anything mean involving claws out. Even so, three smacks for three different people is the current record! She excelled herself did the diva kitty!

Also, I would be lying if the shock and squeals of all three didn't amuse me immensely!

M x

One of 'Tifa's favourite places in the flat is my computer chair. This is fine when I'm in bed or in the front room watching the telly, but often it unfortunately clashes with my desire for my second biggest love after her: World of Warcraft. I do love my World of Warcraft, and play quite a lot. I'm not one of these players that have 5 or more level 80 characters (I just have one), but I do play enough for me to be justifiably be called a geek.

Anyway, 'Tifa really does not like being moved from her favourite spots, and will punish such an impertinent act as to attempt to do this with a swift, claws out swipe. I am normally quick enough to dodge out the way, but I prefer not to risk it. As such, if she's on the computer chair, I generally wait for her to get off it rather than attempt to remove her so I can sit down to satiate my addiction to WoW.

The other day, I captured this 'lovely' pic of the diva kitty:

"You aint playing on World of Warcraft tonight, Sonny Jim!"

Look at that pout! Look at that evil glare! She blatently aint going anywhere!

I went and watched some telly instead!

M x