Queen and Latifa


Q&L Seasonal Card 2010

Posted on December 7, 2010 at 1:39 PM Comments comments (0)

Seasons’ Greetings to all my friends and blog readers!


As I have done for a number of years now, I’m not sending out paper greeting cards for the usual reasons. Without wishing to be a preachy, environmentalist, save the planet nutter, it is clearly better for the environment to send an electronic card rather than chopping down trees to say what can be said on my blog. Beyond this, as always, the money I save by not paying for paper cards is given to a charity. This year, unsurprisingly, I have once again decided to give a donation to the RSPCA Manchester and Salford branch. So you may not have a paper card from me that you’ll throw away in January, but you did get goodwill vibes and the satisfaction that some money went to helping out poor kitties in the situation that ‘Tifa was in before I adopted her: homeless and with nobody to love them (yet!).


Also, I would find writing out cards incredibly tedious, and those other two convenient reasons give me a good reason not to!


Another thing that using this medium allows me is the opportunity to do something a little more personalised. So here you go, a proper Q&L seasonal greeting for you:







I say it every year, but one the biggest things that I am proud of in my life is that I have made a huge amount of truly fantastic friends all over the country and, indeed, the world. That’s you, that is. I am humbled that I can consider so many decent, amazing, and diverse people as my friends. Thank you for being one of those people that make my life awesome.


And with that, all that is left for me to say is that I hope that you have a relaxing and enjoyable seasonal break, and a prosperous and happy New Year.



Have fun,



Mark & ‘Tifa


Thoroughly Deserved!

Posted on May 4, 2010 at 10:20 PM Comments comments (0)

Look what the diva did:








I know my cat. As such, I know when she's had enough of fusses. She will let you know with a furry punch when she's had enough, however, because I can tell when she's had enough, she always misses me.


Not this time.


The huge difference is that I know perfectly well that once the diva is sat down and settled, she doesn't want to be messed with. Ignoring this knowledge, I decided to fuss her anyway because I wanted to fuss her. And I wasn't quite ready for the backlash. I thoroughly deserved it for being so stupid though...


M x

"And where have you been?!"

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 11:21 PM Comments comments (1)

'Tifa has recently developed a particularly bad habit - naughty diva!


As I've mentioned previously, once I've gone to bed and am asleep, she likes to snuggle up to me and go to sleep herself. Almost without fail, I wake up the following morning with a kitty in my lap. However, sometimes I might not sleep in my own bed for whatever reason, and 'Tifa has made it quite clear that she does not appreciate it. The last few times that I've come home the morning after staying over somewhere else, she has meowed hostiley and given me a bop on the ankle. I feel a little like Andy Capp being admonished by Flo! It's almost like she's saying "And where have you been?!"


Mean, yet cute and amusingly divaish: pretty much parr for the course with my Princess, then?


Have fun,


M x 


Posted on August 19, 2009 at 10:50 PM Comments comments (0)

I'm not very good at it.


I've been told that some people flick their kitty's nose when s/he does something naughty as a form of discipline so that the cat know that it was bad and associates it with badness happening to them. Thing is, I'm really not sure personally that I agree with this practice. Smacking a child does no permanent physical damage, but it's still not a nice thing to do to a defenceless person whom the parent is clearly stronger than. Is this all that different from flicking a cat's nose? It's not a nice thing to do to a defenceless animal that the owner is clearly stronger than.


'Tifa is oftentimes naughty, but rarely to the point where I might consider it needs physical behavioural treatment. However, the other day she was sat in my lap, and totally randomly leapt up, grabbed my arm with both paws, and dug her claws in scratching a couple of three inch long lacerations down my arm. With hindsight, it was probably playful and I misconstrued it as aggressive, because on inspection after the event, the cuts weren't very deep at all. However, the shock and initial pain made me quite upset, and the idea of flicking her nose came into my head.


So I hovered my hand in front of her as I contemplated whether or not I actually agree with this practice. I decided that I didn't, and was mildly ashamed at even thinking about it. However, I was punished for my bad thoughts by the diva kitty: she swiped at me and took a chunk out of my palm. And to be honest, I think I deserved it: flicking my Princess's nose is not my style, and after this incident, I sincerely doubt that even the thought of it will enter my head again.


M x

Mad Cat!

Posted on August 16, 2009 at 11:32 PM Comments comments (0)

Well, I certainly didn't deserve the abuse that I just got!


There I was sat merrily playing World of Warcraft, minding my own business. The Diva Kitty come up, growled, hit me on the ankle, and then bounded off!


I had done nothing to deserve such abuse!


Mean kitty!


And since when does she growl?! I've had said Diva Kitty for 6 months now, and this is the first time she has ever growled at me!

To be fair, I wasn't even aware that kitties could growl.


I might go and have a little cry...


M x

Alas, Poor Bob

Posted on August 10, 2009 at 11:23 PM Comments comments (0)

Remember Bob?

Bob is the cat toy that 'Tifa loves to give a good kicking.


I arrived home this evening to discover this:



The Diva Kitty is clearly proud of her achievement!




Poor Bob!




In the space of two weeks, 'Tifa has managed to disembowel poor old Bob. I'd use the term 'long suffering' to describe Bob, but realistically, he has been abused so constantly over the last couple of weeks, that 'frequently' is probably more apt that 'long'. At least he's been put out his misery now, right?


Actually, no.


After I threw away the stuffing, 'Tifa still loves to give the empty 'skin' of poor Bob a kicking, and continues to abuse him! It appears that his torture is far from over.


Poor Bob!


M x

Blogging Standing Up

Posted on June 16, 2009 at 11:39 PM Comments comments (0)

'Tifa and I have had a disagreement.


I thought that the computer chair was mine, but clearly, it's her's. She has been meowing and hitting me and jumping on the keyboard and sitting right in front of the screen and generally being a nuisance. A cute and pretty nuisance, but still a nuisance.


So she's got the chair, and I've wheeled her away from the PC.


I'd write more about this constant conflict of who should be allowed to sit on the computer chair, but it really is quite ridiculous to be updating my blog standing up...


I'm going to bed to read my book: I give up on the tinterwebs for the night.


Diva kitty!


M x 

World of Warcraft Timing

Posted on June 9, 2009 at 11:17 PM Comments comments (0)

I like to sit on World of Warcraft with my kitty sat in my lap. She obviously quite likes this too as she regularly joins me while I'm playing and curls up for half an hour or so before pottering off to do other catty things. However, sometimes she gets restless or distracted and interferes with my gaming, becoming something of a nightmare!


For those of you who're not knowledgeable about WoW, and I'll try to be brief here, there are a number of different ways to play the game, but it can be crudely split up into two categories: that which involves playing on your own and that which involves the need to team up with other players to achieve a goal - 'soloing' and 'grouping' respectively. Soloing, it is fine if the kitty decides that the computer mouse is a proper mouse that needs a good kicking or that the keyboard is a good place to have a walk around on: you just get a beating from the baddie you're fighting, tut at the kitty, and then salvage yourself and carry on. However, grouping is a whole other kettle of fish as other people are relying on you as part of a team, and it can be detrimental to achieving the kill if you're not performing at your best.


Particularly tough baddies that you need to fight with other players and use specific tactics are known as 'bosses'. You really have to concentrate on bosses and play your role within the team properly or you could cause what is known as 'a wipe': the utter destruction of you and all your friends by the boss.


When one is fighting a boss, kitty interferance can easily cause a wipe. I personally hate being responsible for a failure within a team as I almost exclusively team up with only people I know in 'real life', and don't like letting my friends down. Thing is, It's almost like 'Tifa knows the most inappropriate moment for which to be disruptive!


The toughest boss I'm going to fight that evening? Kitty tramps on the keyboard!

A boss where every second counts and one error could wipe everyone? Kitty claws my hand going for the mouse.

Fighting a boss with specific tactics? Kitty goes for the wire of my headset because it's a bit like string.

A new boss I've not faught before that I really need to concentrate on? Kitty picks an inopportune moment to climb up my chest and meow in my face.

You get the picture.


I know that cats are highly intelligent, but it's uncanny how often the diva kitty causes me grouping grief at the worst possible moment. Surely cats aren't that clever? Surely the diva kitty isn't that mean even if she is that clever? Surely not? Right?


M x


Floozy Kitty

Posted on May 30, 2009 at 10:20 AM Comments comments (1)

My friend Philip came my place the other day, and we ended up drinking a little too much booze for him to safely drive home. As such he crashed at mine.


So I went to bed as normal, and Philip was on the sofabed in the front room.


Now, 'Tifa will always sleep either on the computer chair in my bedroom or will actually join me and sleep on my feet (quite why she chooses what is quite probably the most minging part of my body is beyond me, but hey). I like this: it makes me happy to know that she wants to sleep in the same place as me and is actually quite fond of me despite her contrary divaness.


But when Philip stayed over, she slept with him on the sofa.


Mean, floozy kitty!


M x

Smile for the camera, puss...

Posted on April 27, 2009 at 11:16 PM Comments comments (0)

It does frustrate me that I can't seem to take a photo of 'Tifa that doesn't make her look evil! If she is evil, then she's very much the diet coke of evil, but every photo I take of her, she seems to pout and glare and make herself look incredibly evil! It makes me sad because she's beautiful.


She has, however, excelled herself in appearance of evilness in one of the pictures I took of her recently:




"I DON'T LIKE photos being taken of me, Mark!"



She's not evil, I tell you! She's not! She's not! She's not!




M x

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