Queen and Latifa


A Particularly Whimsical Moment

Posted on November 26, 2009 at 11:34 PM Comments comments (0)

I am prone to whimsy, but this has to be considered one of my most impulsive moments ever...


I am yet to buy any of the presents I need to buy this year. I am aware of this, and the impending sense of dread for the horror of Christmas Eve shopping is an ever closer Sword of Damacles.


So, when I was in Sainsbury's the other day, what in the world possessed me to purchase this:




  1. I was there for a 'few essentials', not items of whimsy.
  2. Kitty doesn't know what Christmas is.
  3. Kitty gets treats every day anyway.
  4. Actual people should get priority of Christmas present purchase over kitty.
  5. It's November and despite my neuroticism over getting presents bought early, I shoudn't really be worried about buying presents yet.
  6. Buying two boxes of treats and a cat toy seperately from the pointless seasonal packaging would have been significantly cheaper.
  7. Kitty has many, many toys already, and I have months worth of treat supplies in stock.
  8. &c, &c, &c...


I don't even celebrate 'Christmas' in the traditional sense: my staunch faithlessness makes it uncomfortable for me to even call the period from  December to January 'Christmas'. I generally tend to call it 'Yuletide'/ 'Yule' or 'Festive Period'. It seems somewhat hypocritical to me that, as a somewhat passionate non-believer, that I should embrace a religious festival, however much it is ingrained into British culture. I take this period of time as an opportunity to enjoy friends' and family members' company as people (myself included) tend to make more effort around this period to see each other. I swap presents with family, which is lovely, but I certainly don't go wild and buy loads of presents for loads of people. I'm not a humbug by any stretch of the imaginiation, I just completely 'deChristianify' the whole period and minimise present purchase for something that I don't actually believe in. 


Yet, despite all this, I bought the kitty a Christmas present... in November.


I should be mocked.


Have fun,


M x

Diva Don't Do Diet!

Posted on October 27, 2009 at 11:57 PM Comments comments (0)

There's an old cliché that pets start to resemble their owners...


I am blessed with a metabolism that means that whatever I eat, I don't get fat. I can be incredibly unfit (and I currently am, unfortunately), but I never get a tum or weigh much more than 11 stone. I've been warned that it'll catch up with me, and I'm sure it will, but 31 years and counting, it hasn't yet. If I did put on weight, my opinion would probably be different to what I'm about to express, but I don't see the point of a culinary indulgence if you're going to debase it! As such, I always have full fat cheeses/ spreads, fizzy drinks, chocolate products, etc. As far as I'm concerned, it's not an indulgence if you actually think about the bad stuff: that ruins the pleasure one gains from the indulgence.


The reason for the title of this blog is that I often say something that borders on a catchphrase when challenged about my fizzy drink choices: "I don't do diet." This is in reference to the fact that I'd rather have a glass of water over a glass of Diet Coke. If I'm going to have Coca-Cola, I want Coca-Cola, not wishy washy, flavourless, gassy Diet.


Turns out that the diva kitty has a very similar attitude. She loves cow milk, and if I ever leave a glass of milk unattended, she's there like a shot lapping it up. But as we know, cow milk is bad for kitty cats and she really shouldn't be drinking it, but special cat milk is okay. As such, being the doting queen that I am, I generally have a stock of cat milk in to give to my princess. The thing is, if I put down a bowl of cat milk, she treats it with disdain! She'll play at it and, more often than not, will eventually drink it over a day, but she has nothing resembling the gusto for cat milk that she does for cow milk.


So there you go, like her queeny owner/ housekeeper, the diva don't do diet!


M x

Fizzy Kitty

Posted on October 20, 2009 at 11:32 PM Comments comments (2)

Does anyone remember Swizzels Fizzers?





For those of you that didn't grow up in the 80s, these sweets were particularly popular in Britain during that period. They are fizzy, slightly chalky sweets that, as a kid, I was particularly fond of. As is somewhat common amongst most thirty somethings, for me, 80s retro is a guilty pleasure and a special indulgence. As such, when I saw a big pack of Swizzels sweets (predominantly full of stuff, such as Fizzers, that I would personally consider 80s sweets) in Sainsburys the other day, I added it to my basket on a whim.


So there I was later that evening eating from my bag of retro sweets including such classics as Drumsticks, Mr Chews, and Fizzers, and as is 'Tifa's norm, when she saw I was eating, she wanted some. So up she comes, meowing and tromping all over my lap, begging for people food. She will leave cat food for hours on end before eating it, but as soon as there is an opportunity for people food, she all over you, begging for some.


In the past, 'Tifa has enjoyed, amongst many others, cheddar, Fray Bentos pie, pate, fish fingers, and lasagne. She has rejected, amongst many other things, chocolate, haribo, and pineapple after giving them a try. So to get rid of her, I put a fizzer in front of her, knowing that she wouldn't like it given her track record with sweet things. And as usual, she gave it a quick, cautionary, taster lick. It turns out that the diva kitty wasn't quite ready for fizziness on her tongue, and she pulled a hilarious scrunged up face, whacked the offending fizzer across the room, scowled at me, and darted off.


It's rare I get one up on my cat, and I know I should have felt guilty for inflicting freakout fizzy tongue on my poor unsuspecting princess, but I did laugh! Poor 'Tifa!


M x

Random Acts of Divaness

Posted on October 1, 2009 at 5:42 PM Comments comments (0)

I'm never really without inspiration for ideas for this blog, but sometimes cute or funny things that the diva kitty does don't seemingly warrant a blog to themselves. I'm sad enough to keep a notebook of ideas for blogs next to my computer, and going through the list, there's a number of ideas that, whilst they might not perhaps warrant a whole blog to themselves, they're worth mentioning in a compilation.


When 'Tifa sees that I have cat treats for her, she runs around in circles excitedly and meows. I hold back sometimes just to watch her. I wonder if she notices the huge grin she evokes from me every time she does this.


Whatever the food is, if I'm eating it, 'Tifa wants some. She normally behaves though because she's worked out that if I tell her no and she lets me finish, she'll get some eventually. This does not apply if she can smell that it's fish - she goes nuts, and has to be removed from the room.


Anything that even vaguely dangles: the diva kitty wants to play with it!


'Tifa hates me reading books and magazines in bed and gets terribly jealous. I presume she likes to be able to see my face, and my reading material hides it. As such, she becomes particularly contrary repeatedly headbutting the offending book/ mag making it completely impossible to read.


The diva kitty likes Cheddar and Edam, but doesn't like Stilton or Blackstick Blue.


The diva kitty dislikes it when I'm pottering about the flat doing various things. She likes to be able to observe me, and as such prefers me to stay put somewhere for long periods of time. As such, she follows me if I'm pottering and meows her displeasure at me causing her such inconvenience.


Just some random thoughts here - I will probably post similar blogs periodically...


M x 

Poor Choice of Treat Locations

Posted on July 25, 2009 at 11:07 PM Comments comments (3)

'Tifa is a clever girl, particularly when it comes to attempting to get what she wants.


I keep cat treats in two places in the flat: behind the Doctor Who DVDs in the front room and underneath the 'guest' pillow in my bedroom. 'Tifa gets treats quite regularly because I am a giddy queen who spoils her. As such, she has worked out that when I reach under the pillow or behind the DVDs, she's getting something yummy. She gets all excited, meows lots, and bounds around: it's incredibly cute. She loves to nom the treats out of my hand too.


Thing is, now she knows where the treat locations are, she also wants to raid them. I find her pawing underneath the pillow in an attempt to get the treats from underneath and mooning by the Doctor Who DVDs. This isn't really a problem... Or it wasn't until kitty digging at the pillow woke me up. The other day, she was so adamant that I had to remove her from the bedroom. Unfortunately, in my sleepy haze, I didn't notice that she'd dug her claws into the pillowcase and it came with her when I picked her up. The pillow then knocked over a full glass of orange juice that I had left on my bedside table, and it went all over my wallet, watch, mobile phone, and a pile of books. At rubbish o'clock in the morning, it took an inordinate amount of time to clear that mess up. 'Tifa wasn't my princess at that particular moment, I can tell you...


Of course, the morning after, all was forgiven as she is my beautiful princess, and she got treats...


M x

Milk Diva

Posted on July 1, 2009 at 11:39 PM Comments comments (0)

As people will probably know, I spoil 'Tifa. She gets her favourite food regularly, treats every day, toys, mucho love and cuddles, and I play with her every day. This is because I enjoy doting upon her, and she deserves it as she's beautiful and makes me happy.


So for the first couple of months, I gave her milk daily as a treat. I was advised by friends, colleagues, websites, etc that cow milk is bad for kitties and does their insides a mischief. But 'Tifa really liked it, and yummed it up every day. I was in a quandary. So I decided to buy some cat milk for her instead (which is more expensive, but doesn't rot the kitty's insides like cow milk apparently does).


'Tifa being 'Tifa, she doesn't make things easy for me. When first presented with the cat milk, she looked at it, looked at me, meowed her contempt, and strutted off.


Such a diva!


She now drinks it (how cute are cats when they lap?!), but I can't help thinking that she'd still prefer the cow milk as her recent milk pilfering can attest.


M x

Spoilt Kitty?

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 6:58 PM Comments comments (1)

Some of my friends accuse me of being obssesive about my cat, and spoiling her.

It's true, few people have a blog dedicated to the antics of their cats, and I do molly coddle her a little and let her get away with murder, but I don't think I spoil her.

Well, I didn't until today.

I went to Wilkinsons to get a light bulb. Just a light bulb. I didn't need anything else. Below is a picture of what I actually purchased...

Maybe I do spoil her a little bit...

M x

Cat Treat Diva

Posted on April 8, 2009 at 10:10 PM Comments comments (0)

'Tifa is a diva even when I'm being particularly nice to her and fawning over her!


She quite obviously likes her cat treats (what cat doesn't?!), and has yummed up the little ones with crunchy outside and the soft centre and the little biscuity ones that look like little chickens (so cute!) out of my hand and friends' hands. So I thought I'd try something new, and bought a pack of those stick treats to see if she liked those.


At this point, I need to explain that the diva kitty will not eat her wet food unless it is finey chopped up for her (a task I perform every morning).


So I offered her a stick treat, and she sauntered up, licked it a bit, glared at me, and then sauntered off. 'Bah' thought I. Then suddenly, I had an idea! I broke up the stick into small pieces and offered them to her in my hand. And she proceeded to yum the pieces up with gusto!


Such a diva!




M x

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