Queen and Latifa



Posted on June 20, 2010 at 9:46 PM Comments comments (1)



I bought some food for the diva from Sainsbury's when I went for some supplies earlier this weekend. I normally buy Sainsbury's own brand, but there were extra Nectar points for Whiskas and I'm a sucker for Nectar points!


I arrived home, dumped my bags, and quickly went for a pee. When I returned to my shopping, no more than two minutes later, I was greeted by this:




"Foolish queen!" *rrrrrrip* "NOM!"



Despite the fact that there was plenty of Sainsbury's dry food in the diva's bowl, she still made a beeline for the Whiskas! What an absolute diva!


M x 

Stupid Queen

Posted on March 11, 2010 at 11:03 PM Comments comments (0)

So I've been blogging this evening. I've been doing it mainly out of guilt because I've not blogged for over two weeks. Grumpy Gay Wrestling Fan will be getting a blitz as well in a bit as I've neglected that too.


I also happen to be going away for a long weekend tomorrow which is part of the whole guilt thing as if I hadn't blogged this evening, I then wouldn't be able to blog for 4 more days either.


But writing blogs about the kitty coupled with the fact that I'm going away has made me realise that I'm not going to see 'Tifa for nearly 4 days. This has made me sad.


I am such a ridiculous, sentimental old queen! How can the prospect of not seeing my cat for a few days possibly put a dampner on a holiday that I have been looking forward to for 3 months?!


M x 

Valentine Kitty

Posted on February 12, 2010 at 11:29 PM Comments comments (0)

Has it really come to this?


There is a drought where my love life once was. There is literally noone that I want to send a Valentines card. Except possibly Little Miss Meow Meow.


I've walked past the cards in the shops, and cannot think of a man that I like enough to buy one for. I do, however, love my cat more than people that I have bought Valentines for in the past. Does this mean I should buy her a Valentines card? After all, I did buy her a Christmas present.




Am I really thinking about buying my cat a Valentines card? When did I become this much of a spinster?




Have fun,


M x

Sleep V Diva

Posted on January 28, 2010 at 12:41 PM Comments comments (2)

Last night, I was minding my own business watching a bit of wrestling before I went to bed (I write a wrestling blog too by the way [please note – it’s not as family friendly as Q&L]).


In saunters Little Miss Meow Meow (oh yes, yet another silly nickname for Latifa – I’m sure you’re not surprised). As usual, she pauses to stare at me, and then disdainfully struts over to the computer chair and sits down.This is very much the norm and the way we both like it.


The wrestling finishes and I switch the light off and go to bed. All is tranquil and as it should be in Chez Q&L.


It is at this point that ‘Tifa decides that it is time randomly to go into hyperactivity central. She goes nuts: pelting around the flat, growling, attacking random things, bouncing off walls, skidding across the laminate because she is bolting around so fast, and finally jumping up and down on me while I try to get to sleep.


So I sit up, and she bounds away. Desperate for some peace, I shut her out of the bedroom.


Peace and quiet.


For 5 minutes.


Then she starts pining at the bedroom door and scratching it. You'd be amased how loudly a teeny tiny kitty can whine when trying to emotionally blackmail a queen that is particularly succeptible to such tactics.


The thing is, having had really cripplingly awful sleep problems at the tail end of last year, the last thing I need is a needy kitty disturbing me when I have work in the morning.


So I let her in again.


She smacks me and heads back to the computer chair; I shrug and go back to bed.


Fine minutes later, my princess joins me and curls up next to me.


All is right in the world, and we both go to sleep.

Love that bloomin' diva even if she totally nuts...


M x 

Getting Ready To Go Out

Posted on November 24, 2009 at 11:31 PM Comments comments (1)

I have been somewhat perplexed recently as to why it might be that it takes me so long to get ready for a night out these days. It seems that since I adopted 'Tifa, I take nearly twice as long to get ready as I did before and I can't think of any reason why. So I've decided to come up with two lists detailing what I did to get ready before 'Tifa and what I do now to see if this can shed any light. So, here goes...



Before Kitty

  • Shower
  • Brush teeth
  • Shave face
  • Shave head
  • Trim chest hair
  • Cut nails
  • Pick outfit
  • Aftershave
  • Pose in front of mirror



Since Acquisition Of Kitty

  • Shower
  • Fuss over kitty
  • Brush teeth
  • Stroke kitty
  • Shave face
  • Give kitty some cat treats
  • Shave head
  • Hug kitty
  • Trim chest hair
  • Blow kisses to the kitty
  • Cut nails
  • Check kitty's water bowl is full
  • Pick outfit
  • Play with the kitty using the dangley toy thing
  • Aftershave
  • Get all soppy over the kitty as I'm about to leave her
  • Pose in front of mirror
  • Fret about being late and wonder how it happened then rush out usually forgetting either my phone, brolley, glasses, MP3 player or something else important


Nope - I still can't put my finger on it. Perhaps I'll just have to chalk it down to it just being one of life's mysteries...


Have fun,


M x

I Can't Move!

Posted on August 26, 2009 at 11:48 PM Comments comments (0)

Oh dear!


I am tired and I really want to go to bed, but I can't currently move from my computer chair. 'Tifa is sat in my lap, and she is settled and content, and I'll feel so mean if I move: it'll upset her! I hate upsetting my girl!


I've done everything that I wanted to do on World of Warcraft tonight and done Facebook to death. I daren't go on youtube or else I'll definitely still be on my computer for another hour plus. Did you know there is a facebook group called 'cat on lap syndrome' to raise awareness about my current condition? Well you do now. I should probably join it. I just did. That facebook group has 44 members. At least I know I'm not alone.


Oh no! She just fell asleep! Things have gone from bad to worse! I may well be here for quite a while! Youtube here I come...


M x


Posted on August 19, 2009 at 10:50 PM Comments comments (0)

I'm not very good at it.


I've been told that some people flick their kitty's nose when s/he does something naughty as a form of discipline so that the cat know that it was bad and associates it with badness happening to them. Thing is, I'm really not sure personally that I agree with this practice. Smacking a child does no permanent physical damage, but it's still not a nice thing to do to a defenceless person whom the parent is clearly stronger than. Is this all that different from flicking a cat's nose? It's not a nice thing to do to a defenceless animal that the owner is clearly stronger than.


'Tifa is oftentimes naughty, but rarely to the point where I might consider it needs physical behavioural treatment. However, the other day she was sat in my lap, and totally randomly leapt up, grabbed my arm with both paws, and dug her claws in scratching a couple of three inch long lacerations down my arm. With hindsight, it was probably playful and I misconstrued it as aggressive, because on inspection after the event, the cuts weren't very deep at all. However, the shock and initial pain made me quite upset, and the idea of flicking her nose came into my head.


So I hovered my hand in front of her as I contemplated whether or not I actually agree with this practice. I decided that I didn't, and was mildly ashamed at even thinking about it. However, I was punished for my bad thoughts by the diva kitty: she swiped at me and took a chunk out of my palm. And to be honest, I think I deserved it: flicking my Princess's nose is not my style, and after this incident, I sincerely doubt that even the thought of it will enter my head again.


M x

Poor Choice of Treat Locations

Posted on July 25, 2009 at 11:07 PM Comments comments (3)

'Tifa is a clever girl, particularly when it comes to attempting to get what she wants.


I keep cat treats in two places in the flat: behind the Doctor Who DVDs in the front room and underneath the 'guest' pillow in my bedroom. 'Tifa gets treats quite regularly because I am a giddy queen who spoils her. As such, she has worked out that when I reach under the pillow or behind the DVDs, she's getting something yummy. She gets all excited, meows lots, and bounds around: it's incredibly cute. She loves to nom the treats out of my hand too.


Thing is, now she knows where the treat locations are, she also wants to raid them. I find her pawing underneath the pillow in an attempt to get the treats from underneath and mooning by the Doctor Who DVDs. This isn't really a problem... Or it wasn't until kitty digging at the pillow woke me up. The other day, she was so adamant that I had to remove her from the bedroom. Unfortunately, in my sleepy haze, I didn't notice that she'd dug her claws into the pillowcase and it came with her when I picked her up. The pillow then knocked over a full glass of orange juice that I had left on my bedside table, and it went all over my wallet, watch, mobile phone, and a pile of books. At rubbish o'clock in the morning, it took an inordinate amount of time to clear that mess up. 'Tifa wasn't my princess at that particular moment, I can tell you...


Of course, the morning after, all was forgiven as she is my beautiful princess, and she got treats...


M x

Hole In A Bag

Posted on July 16, 2009 at 11:47 PM Comments comments (0)

What is it with me and cat litter?


I was changing the cat litter last weekend, and something particularly unpleasant happened. I emptied the old litter into an old Sainsbury's bag for disposal. I then picked it up to dispose of it down the chute. And there was a hole in the bag. A big hole. And it went all over the floor. And onto my feet. Into my slippers. Ew!


Ew, ew, ew!




I took me three times as long to sort out the cat litter that day.


'Tifa came in at one point, looked at the mess, meowed, turned her nose up, and left again. Bless her - I reckon, like you probably are, she was amused by my misfortune.


M x

Ping Pong Ball Indifference

Posted on June 29, 2009 at 7:03 PM Comments comments (1)

I'm posting another vid because people have said to me how much they enjoyed the last one.


A few weeks after adopting her (and before I realised that the only cat toy she was interested in was the interactive fishing rod thing), I was sat in my front room with 'Tifa. I wanted to play and thought that she might like to chase a ping pong ball. 'Tifa had other ideas.



You need Adobe Flash Player to view this content.




I like this video: it's pretty indicative of our relationship as a whole...


M x


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